Source Code (2011)

Mediocre Film--40-50%
Well this film was a bit of a disappointment. I can't believe RT gave it a 91%. First, the major plot device of the film is obvious within about the first 15 minutes of the film. After that, I kept thinking to myself, "oh please don't do what I think you're going to do and take the perfectly logical plot you have and put a twist at the end that is completely illogical." But of course, that is exactly what they did.

Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

Perfect Film--100%
I might as well kick this off with my favorite film of all time. Lawrence captivates and mesmerizes with an epic portrayal of a man riding the wings of inspiration, determined, like Icarus, to transcend mere humanity, to ascend into godhood, but also entranced, like Narcissus, with the reflection of his own depravity and insanity. Lawrence is not only a lover of the desert, he is an embodiment, a personification of it, at once vast, beautiful, and deadly.

Some viewers will be put off by the sheer length of this film (almost 4 hours) and by its pace, which is at times rather slow and deliberate. However, for those familiar with the discipline of concentration and open to the genre of epic drama, this film promises a journey more compelling and a tale more enlightening than perhaps any other cinematic work with which I am familiar.

Movie Rating System

First, I can understand percentile rating systems for movies, but after a while it gets a bit arbitrary and you find yourself wondering exactly what defines the gap between say an old Godzilla movie and the latest chick flick. So I decided that I'd rather develop a movie rating system that defines categories of movies, and then give each category a potential range on a percentile scale. So here goes:

1. Perfect Film--95-100%

This film must be flawless in every respect. The plot must be original and well-developed throughout. The characters must be engaging, memorable, and well-developed as well. The actors must be cast well and must naturally embody the character they portray. The cinematography, make up, set design, and special effects (if any) must be well executed and appropriate to the subject matter, but not overboard or distracting. The entire film must tell a story that is both meaningful and universal, transcending its substance to achieve timeless value and to deliver enduring catharsis.

2. Memorable Film--85-95%

This is a film that is very good at what it does, even if what it does isn't that original or meaningful. This film will always specialize in one theme, but have at least one really memorable character, scene, or line, and sometimes have quite a few of each, that make it stand out from the rest of its genre. In terms of execution, this film is expert in whatever its specialty is, and it usually delivers enduring catharsis. Think Die Hard (Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!), The Rock (scene where Cage waves flares), Bullitt (car chase sequence), or any of a number of classics ("Here's looking at you kid." "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." etc.).

3. Decent Film--75-90%

This film is well executed and can be original, but it either fails to deliver enduring catharsis, or it fails to combine all the good elements into a seamless whole.

4. One-time Film--60-80%

This film is enjoyable to watch the first time, but drastically loses its appeal on subsequent viewings. Whether it is a surprise ending, a gimmick, a major plot twist, a raunchy comedy filled with jokes that go stale as soon as the credits role, a good old B sci-fi, a hack-slash shocker, or an exploitation flick, it might be fun enough the first time around, but that is really all its good for.

5. Guilty Pleasure Film--40-70%

This is a film that manages to pull of that thing where it is so bad that it's good. Usually a bit of self-mockery goes a long way for this film, its extravagance or ridiculousness is pushed to the limit of tolerance, and then just beyond, until the audience realizes with absolute certainty that it really isn't suppose to be taken seriously at all.

6. Regrettable Flop--40-60%

This is a film with high aspirations that unfortunately fails to deliver. Whether it is undermined by a few crucial flaws, or whether it just translates good ideas into a mediocre outcome, this film leaves the audience wishing it had been done better.

7. Mediocre Film--40-50%

This is usually a film that, although it may contain good performances, is simply formed around a few terrible ideas. Whether planned major plot twists are obvious too early, or the film resorts to non-sensible plot developments in the end, it will leave the audience feeling more disappointed about the story of the film than any other aspect.

8. Boring Film--30-50%

This is that kind of film that parents watch on the Hallmark Channel and, unbelievably, enjoy. Mind-numbing and bland, there might not be anything particularly wrong with it other than the overall stupidity and pointlessness, but it can hardly be called a real film either.

9. Preachy Film--20-30%

This is a film that is more about an agenda than about the story it uses to promote that agenda. Again, Hallmark Channel fare, it leaves the audience unable to empathize at all with characters that are obviously nothing more than icons being used to illustrate the message being delivered. Occasionally these films will be found in the major stream, where the appropriateness of the agenda being promoted is often a topic of hot debate among critics.

10. Memorably Bad Film--10-25%

This film is so terribly written, acted, and produced that you will regret ever seeing it. Don't watch if you haven't already. Save yourself.

11. Films that Should Never Have Been Made--0-10%

This film is beyond bad; it is an atrocity, an insult to the art of storytelling.

Under Construction

I'm currently working on getting my Rotten Tomatoes profile sorted out, complete with movie reviews, lists of movies, and all other good things galore. Once that is done I will be creating posts here to link to that content.